written for my weekly blog at:
A month ago, I was having the time of my life at Comic Con. I was signing autographs with #GeekGirlsCreate, speaking on a panel with the Most Dangerous Women of Comic Con, and running around with Team Space Command, organizing signings, parties, and street teams. It was totally amazing.
I was having a noticeable shift in personal and professional friends and associates. I’ve noticed that when you’re on a path of creativity and tier-jumping, the universe does that, every so often, POOF, people disappear from your life, other people arrive, and still other people become more prominent. Since going into “gypsy mode” in May, I’ve had some of the largest shifts in friends group that I can remember happening in a long time.
When you’re in a “time of need” it’s always interesting to see who’s got your back. Hands down my friend Michele Fisher wins the gold medal on this one, with my friend Dylan Forer coming in with the silver. Michele provided me with shelter aka her cozy couch, and Dylan, is responsible for referring me to 90% of all the freelance music-related gigs I booked this summer. Thank you Michele and Dylan.
But more than that, I feel like I found some life-long friends and associates, something I have been craving for a very long time in LA. I’m single. I’m without a BFF. And, my family is 3000 miles away. In 2010 when I took a roadtrip/hiatus back East, I was feeling alone not only in my romantic life, but also in my professional life.A one woman show, in all areas of my life.
Yet, as I spent the past few months in gypsy mode, other things in my life began shifting.
I couldn’t imagine life without my weekly trivia nights, with the Talk Nerdy To Me Lover Team. I was blessed and connected with the Space Command Team, taking a position as their Social Media Manager, and having 3, sometimes 4 hour Sunday lunches with those based in LA. And then there’s Denise Vasquez. A soul-sister who’s been travelling in the same circle as me for a decade, yet we only recently met via the Geek Girls Create panel at Wonder Con. This girl whole-heartedly welcomed me into her life and introduced me to her circle, all of whom are just completely amazingly creative, productive people.
I had more then one person comment on “how happy I looked”, and considering the financial and living situations happening in my life, was pretty laughable. Yet, I was.
And then… I got a phone-call offering me a 20-week long tour managing gig based out of Philly (my hometown). And before I knew what was happening I was packing up my things, making arrangements to rent my car, buying a plane ticket for my cat, and heading on planes and trains, for a training session in Boston.
Before I headed East, @JenFriel and I discussed this at Trivia night… this openness and willingness to just say yes to something that I hadn’t foresaw, something that wasn’t planned, and frankly something I wasn’t even sure I really wanted to do. Yet, it was an adventure, and the universe was presenting me with a way to become financially secure again, in only a few months time. In my hometown of all places.
I had already had a flight to come East for most of August to meet my brand new nieceS, but now this company was offering to change my fare and fly me back sooner (and stay longer) to take this position.
I was going with the flow. Not questioning why. Not analyzing my options. Simply going with the flow… and the flow, all the sudden was about to take me over a waterfall, down an entire different branch of the creek I was happily rafting in.
And Jen reminded me.. this is how it works, you have to go with the flow. You have to say yes.
So I did. And I’m currently working my ASS off, 6 days a week, long days, crazy manual labor, as a tour manager for a promotional campaign.
I’m driving a 16 foot by 12 foot box truck, around the East Coast for a promotional campaign. Yet, last month I was signing autographs at Comic Con.
Some people might not be willing to admit that. There’s a lot of smoke and mirrors in Hollywood. Fake it till you make it. But the truth is, I’m not too proud to admit, that sometimes I have to step away from the film projects, the web-series, the panels, the parties, and take a job, that I may not like yet alone love, in order to be able to survive, and continue to pursue my dreams. (side note: this reminds me of this interview w/Bob Bergen in 2010— http://youtu.be/mzw7zM1e9wo )
And that’s when going with the flow is most important… Would I rather be back in Los Angeles with Michele, Denise, Team Space Command and Team Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover? Absolutely. But right now, in this moment, I have an opportunity to save up more money then I have had in my bank account since college.
And what that means, is when I return West, I won’t be worried about where the next paycheck is coming in, I’ll have a cushion. I’ll be able to get back to classes with Katt Shea and Bonnie Gillespie. I’ll be able to get a yoga and pilates membership, and maybe even sign up for Intermediate Fire Dancing. (Check me out— in 2010 http://tinyurl.com/8p5grae )
I’ll be able to wake up knowing that I have my basic needs met.
I’m not married. I have no children. The only person’s happiness I’m responsible for is my own. And for far too long, I’ve lived under constant financial duress. I’m not complaining, I haven’t had a 9-5 long-term day gig since the late 90’s, I have had many, many adventures. What I am doing is honoring my worth in my chosen career, no longer working on deferred and free projects, and things are shifting. I’m being offered more SAG projects, films and web-series with roles written specifically for me, and I am super excited about shooting Legendary later this year….
My head is still spinning at how quick and unplanned this trip was, I’m one of the most adventurous, spontaneous, people I know… but this… was totally unplanned.
Live Love. Love Life.